Being A Mum.
Mum's.
At LonelyLlama.co.uk, our blog, community, and resources are designed to be a lifeline for mums navigating the challenges of day-to-day life. Our blog features insightful articles on a variety of topics, including mental health, parenting tips, self-care practices, and personal stories from other mothers who understand the ups and downs of motherhood. Through our supportive community, mums can connect with one another, share their experiences, and find encouragement in knowing they are not alone in their struggles. Additionally, our carefully curated resources, such as wellness guides and practical advice, empower mothers to manage stress, enhance their well-being, and cultivate a positive family environment. By providing a safe space for discussion and connection, we aim to help mothers thrive in their everyday lives, fostering resilience and promoting a sense of belonging.
“The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” – Jodi Picoult
Profiles of Different Mums.
Your Name Here
If you think your parenting style is Authoritative then you could be who we are looking for to talk to us and to fill this space....
Authoritative Parenting
Your Name Here
If you think your parenting style is Attachment then you could be who we are looking for to talk to us and to fill this space....
Attachment Parenting
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If you think your parenting style is Permissive then you could be who we are looking for to talk to us and to fill this space....
Permissive Parenting
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If you think your parenting style is Free-Range then you could be who we are looking for to talk to us and to fill this space....
Free-Range Parenting
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If you think your parenting style is Helicopter then you could be who we are looking for to talk to us and to fill this space....
Helicopter Parenting
Parenting Style Breakdown.
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Authoritative Parenting: A balance of rules and responsiveness, where mums set boundaries but also encourage independence.
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Attachment Parenting: Focused on physical closeness, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and nurturing emotional bonds.
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Permissive Parenting: More lenient, where the parent allows their child more freedom and input into decision-making.
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Free-Range Parenting: Encourages independence and less supervision, letting children explore and learn from their environment.
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Helicopter Parenting: More involved and protective, often guiding children closely through decisions and experiences.
Which One are you?
Interactive Quiz Coming Soon.....
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
10 Hints For Mums.
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Nurture Emotional Connection
Emotional Bonding: Mums often have a unique emotional bond with their children, and fostering this connection is crucial. Spend quality time, listen actively, and encourage open emotional expression. Creating a safe space where your children feel understood and valued will strengthen your relationship.
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Trust Your Instincts
Follow Your Gut: Mothers often have strong instincts when it comes to their children. Trust yourself when making decisions, whether it’s about their health, education, or emotional well-being. Confidence in your choices will empower both you and your child.
3
Practice Self-Compassion
Let Go of Perfection: Many mums feel pressure to be "perfect." Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes—self-compassion is vital. Be kind to yourself and recognize that being a great mum isn’t about getting everything right, but about doing your best and learning as you go.
4
Foster Independence in Your Children
Encourage Growth: Empower your children to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. While it’s natural to want to protect them, giving them opportunities to grow independently is essential to their development and builds their confidence.
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Build a Support Network
Find Your Tribe: Surround yourself with supportive people—friends, family, or other mums—who understand the challenges of motherhood. Sharing experiences, advice, and even the occasional vent can make the journey less lonely and more rewarding.
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Encourage Positive Body Image
Model Self-Love: As a mum, your children will look up to you. Encourage a healthy body image by showing them how to appreciate their own bodies and health. Speak kindly about yourself and model body positivity, especially for mums raising daughters.
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Help Them Navigate Feelings: Children often look to their mothers for emotional guidance. Teach them how to identify and manage their feelings, whether it’s through conversations, validating their emotions, or practicing calming techniques like mindfulness.
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Acknowledge Your Achievements: Motherhood can sometimes feel overwhelming, so don’t forget to celebrate the small victories—whether it’s a well-handled tantrum, a homemade meal, or simply making it through a tough day. Recognizing these achievements helps maintain a positive outlook on the challenges of motherhood.
1. Sensory Play with Homemade Playdough
Make playdough together using flour, salt, water, and food colouring. You can add scents like vanilla or lavender to make it even more sensory-friendly. Let kids squish, shape, and create while talking about colours and textures.
2. Nature Scavenger Hunt
Create a list of simple items to find outside (like a leaf, a rock, a feather, etc.). Go on a walk in the park or backyard and have your little one collect items. It’s a great way to engage with nature and practice observation skills.
3. DIY Mini Garden
Plant easy-to-grow seeds like sunflowers or beans in small pots. Your child can decorate the pots, help water the plants, and watch them grow. It teaches patience and responsibility while being fun.
4. Painting with Ice Cubes
Freeze water mixed with food colouring in ice cube trays, then use the coloured ice cubes to “paint” on paper. The melting effect creates cool patterns, and it’s a creative way to cool down on a hot day.
5. Storytime with Puppets
Use old socks or paper bags to make simple puppets together. Once the puppets are made, put on a little puppet show based on your child’s favourite story or let them create their own tale.
6. Obstacle Course in the Living Room
Set up a simple obstacle course using pillows, chairs, and toys. Have your little one jump over cushions, crawl under tables, or balance on a line of tape. This helps with coordination and burns off some energy indoors.
7. Baking Together
Let your little one help bake cookies or muffins. They can mix ingredients, add sprinkles, and, of course, lick the spoon! Baking together is not only fun but also teaches basic math and following instructions.
8. DIY Sensory Bottle
Fill an empty water bottle with water, glitter, beads, and small toys. Seal it tight, and let your child shake it to watch everything swirl around. It’s calming and fun to watch the contents settle.
9. Cardboard Box Car
Turn a large cardboard box into a "car" or "train" by decorating it with markers, stickers, and paper plates for wheels. Once it’s done, your child can sit inside and pretend they’re on an adventure.
10. Indoor Camping
Set up a mini "camping site" in the living room using blankets and pillows to build a tent. You can even have a pretend picnic, read stories by flashlight, or have a “campfire” sing-along.
“The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children.” – Unknown
1. Create a Family Budget
Why It’s Important: Budgeting helps you manage your income and expenses effectively, especially with the rising cost of living. A solid budget allows you to allocate funds for essentials, savings, and discretionary spending.
Tip: Use budgeting apps like Emma or Money Dashboard to track income, bills, and spending. Review government schemes like Universal Credit or Child Benefit to ensure you’re receiving all eligible financial support.
2. Build an Emergency Fund
Why It’s Important: Life is unpredictable, and having an emergency fund gives you a financial safety net for unexpected expenses such as home repairs, medical bills, or job loss.
Tip: Aim to save 3-6 months' worth of living expenses. You could set up a Help to Save account, available to those on certain benefits like Universal Credit, which offers a 50% government bonus on savings up to £1,200 over four years.
3. Plan for Childcare Costs
Why It’s Important: Childcare is a significant cost for many mothers, especially when returning to work. However, the UK offers several schemes to help with these costs.
Tip: Investigate Tax-Free Childcare: You can get up to £500 every three months for each child (or £1,000 if your child is disabled) to help with childcare costs. Also, check if you qualify for the 30 hours free childcare scheme for 3 and 4-year-olds.
4. Save for Your Child’s Education
Why It’s Important: While higher education in the UK can be more affordable compared to other countries, it’s still important to plan for tuition fees and other expenses.
Tip: Open a Junior ISA (JISA) to start saving for your child’s future. You can contribute up to £9,000 annually, and the savings grow tax-free. Encourage family members to contribute as well, and automate regular savings to make steady progress.
5. Prioritise Your Pension
Why It’s Important: Many mothers, especially those who take career breaks or work part-time, may not contribute enough to their pension. The earlier you start, the better.
Tip: If you’re employed, make sure you’re enrolled in a workplace pension scheme through automatic enrolment. If you're self-employed or not eligible for automatic enrolment, consider a personal pension scheme or Self-Invested Personal Pension (SIPP). The government adds 20% tax relief to your contributions (up to a £40,000 annual limit in most cases). Also, ensure you're receiving National Insurance credits if you’re caring for a child under 12, which count towards your State Pension.
6. Maximise Maternity and Family Benefits
Why It’s Important: There are many financial benefits available to support mothers in the UK during maternity leave and beyond.
Tip: If you’re employed, you may qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP)—90% of your average weekly earnings for the first six weeks, then £172.48 a week for the next 33 weeks. If you’re self-employed or don’t qualify for SMP, apply for Maternity Allowance (up to £172.48 per week). Also, look into Child Benefit (£24.00 per week for the first child and £15.90 for each additional child). You might need to opt out of Child Benefit if you or your partner earn more than £50,000 a year due to the High-Income Child Benefit Charge (HICBC).
7. Consider Life Insurance and Will Planning
Why It’s Important: Life insurance provides financial security for your children in case something happens to you. Ensuring you have a will in place can also protect your family’s future.
Tip: Look into term life insurance policies that cover your income until your children are financially independent. Review Critical Illness Insurance for extra coverage. For will planning, you can access free or low-cost services during Free Wills Month or consider an online service such as Farewill.
8. Teach Your Children About Money
Why It’s Important: Educating your children about money from an early age fosters good financial habits and helps them understand the value of saving, spending, and budgeting.
Tip: Open a Children’s Savings Account or Junior ISA, and involve them in tracking savings for a specific goal. Use pocket money apps like GoHenry to teach them budgeting skills with a prepaid card and spending insights.
9. Shop Second-Hand and Take Advantage of Discounts
Why It’s Important: Children grow quickly, and buying new items constantly can be expensive. Shopping second-hand helps you save money and reduces waste.
Tip: Use apps like Vinted or Facebook Marketplace to buy or sell second-hand clothes and toys. Take advantage of discounts and cashback programs, such as TopCashback or Honey, when shopping for essentials.
10. Plan Your Meals and Reduce Waste
Why It’s Important: Meal planning can save you a significant amount of money, especially as food prices continue to rise.
Tip: Plan your meals based on what’s on offer at the supermarket and make a shopping list to avoid impulse buying. Try apps like Too Good To Go to find discounted food from restaurants and shops, and cook in bulk to save time and money.
11. Flexible Working and Childcare Options
Why It’s Important: Many employers in the UK now offer flexible working arrangements, which can help reduce childcare costs and offer a better work-life balance.
Tip: If you're returning to work, explore flexible working options such as part-time hours, remote working, or job-sharing. Legally, you now have the right to request flexible working from your first day of employment. Combining this with Tax-Free Childcare can significantly reduce your overall expenses.
12. Invest in Your Personal Development
Why It’s Important: Many mums take career breaks to raise children, which can impact their earning potential. Investing in yourself through education or skills development can help boost your career when you’re ready to return to work.
Tip: Consider taking online courses or attending free workshops that can enhance your skills. Platforms like FutureLearn and OpenLearn offer free courses. You may also qualify for funding or grants through schemes like Parents Return to Work to help pay for further education or career training.
**The information on this page is for general guidance only and should not be taken as financial advice.
Self-Care Strategies for Busy Mums.
Being a mum often means wearing multiple hats—caregiver, teacher, provider, and more—but it’s vital to remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary. This section focuses on actionable and realistic self-care strategies designed specifically for busy mums. Prioritizing your own well-being can make you stronger, happier, and more resilient in your role as a parent.
1. Quick Relaxation Techniques.
Even with a packed schedule, you can incorporate small moments of relaxation into your day:
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Mindful Breathing: Spend 2-3 minutes focusing on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth for six seconds.
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5-Minute Meditation: Use apps like Headspace or Calm to guide a brief meditation session.
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Mini-Stretch Sessions: Do quick stretches during your child’s nap time or while waiting for the kettle to boil.
2. Time-Saving Self-Care Ideas.
Finding time for yourself doesn’t have to be a challenge:
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Combine Activities: Listen to an audiobook or podcast while cooking or tidying up.
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Batch Cooking: Set aside time to prepare meals for the week, freeing up future evenings for yourself.
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Beauty on the Go: Use a quick face mask or nourishing hand cream during downtime.
3. Budget-Friendly Self-Care.
Self-care doesn’t need to break the bank:
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DIY Spa Night: Light a candle, run a bath, and use affordable skincare products.
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Nature Walks: Enjoy the calming benefits of fresh air and movement with a walk in your local park.
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Journaling: Use a simple notebook to jot down your thoughts, feelings, or gratitude.
4. Building a Support Network.
Connecting with other mums can provide invaluable emotional support:
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Online Communities: Join parenting forums or Facebook groups tailored to your interests.
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Coffee Mornings: Organize or attend local meetups for mums to share experiences.
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Buddy System: Pair up with a fellow mum to exchange childcare duties or plan joint outings.
5. Making Time for Personal Passions.
Rediscovering or cultivating hobbies can bring joy and a sense of identity:
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Creative Outlets: Try painting, knitting, or photography.
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Fitness: Join a local class or explore yoga and Pilates tutorials online.
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Learning: Take an online course to pursue a skill or passion you’ve always wanted to explore.
6. Setting Boundaries.
Protecting your time and energy is key to sustainable self-care:
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Say No When Necessary: Politely decline commitments that overwhelm you.
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Delegate Tasks: Share responsibilities with your partner, family, or friends.
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Create a “No Work Zone:” Set times when you focus solely on yourself or your family.
7. Celebrate Small Wins.
Acknowledge and reward your efforts, no matter how small:
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Daily Reflection: End each day by recognizing one thing you did well.
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Treat Yourself: Enjoy a small indulgence, like your favourite snack or a new book.
Final Thought.
Self-care is about small, consistent actions that nourish your mind, body, and soul. By carving out moments for yourself, you’re not only investing in your own happiness but also ensuring you’re at your best for the people who depend on you. Remember, a happy mum leads to a happy home!
"To the world, you are a mother, but to your family, you are the world." – Unknown
Postnatal Depression.
What is Postnatal Depression (PND)?
Postnatal depression (PND) is a type of depression that can affect mothers after giving birth. It’s more than just the "baby blues," which many women experience in the first couple of weeks postpartum. PND is a deeper, longer-lasting emotional and mental health challenge that can impact your ability to care for yourself, bond with your baby, and enjoy your new role as a parent.
What Causes PND?
PND doesn’t have a single cause—it’s often a combination of factors, including:
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Hormonal changes: After childbirth, levels of hormones like estrogen and progesterone drop significantly, which can affect your mood.
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Sleep deprivation: Adjusting to a newborn’s schedule can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained.
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Life adjustments: The shift to motherhood can feel overwhelming as you navigate new responsibilities and expectations.
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Previous mental health history: If you’ve experienced anxiety or depression before, you may be more at risk.
Signs and Symptoms of PND.
Postnatal depression can feel different for everyone, but common signs include:
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Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.
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Lack of energy and overwhelming fatigue.
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Difficulty bonding with your baby.
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Feeling anxious, irritable, or overly worried.
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Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.
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Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
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Thoughts of self-harm or feeling like you’re not a "good enough" mum.
How to Work Through Postnatal Depression.
If you’re experiencing PND, remember that you’re not alone and there’s help available. Here are some steps that may help:
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Talk to Someone: Share how you’re feeling with your partner, a trusted friend, or a family member. Opening up is an important first step.
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Seek Professional Help: Speak to your GP or a mental health professional. PND is treatable, and therapies like counselling or medication can help.
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Prioritize Rest and Nutrition: While it’s not always easy with a newborn, try to rest when possible and eat nourishing meals to support your body and mind.
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Accept Support: Let others help with chores, cooking, or babysitting so you can take time to recharge.
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Join a Support Group: Connecting with other mums who are going through similar experiences can be incredibly validating and helpful.
You Are Not Alone.
PND is not your fault, and it doesn’t make you a bad mother. It’s a temporary condition, and with the right support and care, you can recover and find joy in motherhood. If you’re struggling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional or explore the resources we’ve shared here on Lonely Llama.